Had such a lovely day 🙂
i’ve realised something since determining to do (and trying hard to do it, specially during placement time) 3hrs daimoku + 1hr gosho (30 mins morning and 30 mins evening) daily but cant put my finger on what it is.
i’ve realised that its not the money, high flying career, 5 bedroom house, 80% grade, cute little happy family and all the lovely things i aspire for.. its knowing life is wonderful each and every second i breathe. having that deep feeling of security and warmth in my heart knowing no matter what happens as long as i practice correctly i’ll be protected in every step of my way.
5 bedroom house can be burnt down, it could be taken away easily, family might have misunderstandings.. even if i have demanding job with high salary what if i couldnt even single penny for my own happiness for e.g. having to fix house again and again, really ill relatives and having to pay for them since ur the well off one, then it would become burden.. but whats more important is.. having that deep faith in heart that everything will be taken care of when i put kosen rufu and practice at the centre of my life.
our lovely women division member in our district said her neice puts her practice first. and never had trouble finding jobs even after relocating to different country. what she does is, she practices no matter what because the day can go on forever.. and i myself also find that when i woke up on work day, i sit down to chant straightaway cos i know im rushing but during my off days.. im way too chilled out and get busy doing breakfast.. then tv.. then checking dailymail.. then day dreaming.. then chatting.. then comes gongyo a quick one, then daimoku is done mostly infront of laptop lol, what i call “mumbling daimoku”
anyway i never thought i could i say this but i do love my life 🙂 and im grateful to be alive (far cry from the suicidal thoughts a year ago) and im kinda grasping the idea of living in the moment, living to the full, and the phrase “we are born in this world to enjoy”. i read it as.. we’re not born to collect materials, to show off, to get deeply attached with things, but we are born to base our life on kosen rufu, enabling each person we meet to activate their happy self, and to basically enjoy the happy times as well as to enjoy the suffering times. the latter i found, quite hard to grasp, anywhoo.. gona make another cuppa tea. and ill create another post 🙂
till then, stay safe and make an effort to activate the happy self in the person infront of you.