I think he’s a lovely man. As usual I seem to have activated his bad side. Again. I miss him but not ‘us’. Should have left it till friendship d’oh! But if we didn’t then how would we know!

The love and care I get from mum and dad never matches anyone else’s. After a defeated day when I get home they yell for a bit and then showers me with love and affection 🙂

My bad luck seems to have started. Such a rosy relationship has now become terrible. And everywhere I go, car gets towed or ticketted. Today, I missed gongyo and got 45£ ticket. Agaaaain. Did it happen cos I missed gongyo? Or aisey he? Mystery. This year so far I must have got like 6 tickets, all worth around 30-40£. Insurance due is almost here, so is the road tax renewal due. Responsibilities makes me icky wicky.

On top of that
– bhai wants me to write a formal letter to uni ppl, his fee is like 8k per year ! Wtf!

– want to write letter to sensei but what to write!

– make uniform sleeves

– book shifts

– take care of myself and home

– prepare for a&e but shall I even prepaaaare?! Cos my point is to exit from n_r_i__ !!

Mm.. We broke up at a time when I need his support the most. But. He’s right, I can’t expect his support all the time, he probably really feels ‘used’. When in fact isn’t that how friendships are :s friend in need is friend indeed? But but what if both friends needs each other’s support, and both are emotionally drained to give support? This is what I always feared. aish.. Relationships.. When will I learn o_o

Mm I’m shutting down. From everyone!! What do I do!! Daimoku ofcourse 🙂 what else can I do, self pity o dear.. I hesitate to even share stuff with him or anyone cos they already have enough stuff in their lives. They already had ‘dramas’ and I don’t want to add more. I wish I could just get away from everyone’s life. Such a burden for everyone. Ooo I’m gona start a new post fulll of self pity. How exciting!! I’m sure no one’s gona read it 🙂 ah.. What would I do without technology and wordpres.. Express and Write on tree’s barks perhaps


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