doubts

Doubts slowly creeping in this morning.

No gohonzon!!!! Even tho I’ve been very happy for 3 days straight and I’m woried tht this feeling is gona degrade soon noooo!!!! I’m still gona be happy !! I have to be hapy gohonzon!!!

I’m telling gohonzon my fears. Then I chant to breakthrough. And no! I have to be haPpppy!!! Everything has to advance kosen rufu!! My happiness will be more effective for kosen rufu!!!

Even tho I’m afraid I’m losing my happiness. And worry I won’t be happy anymore and give way to sadness. I’m gona recharge and be haPpppy!!! These doubts seem so reasonable and believable but no gohonzon! I have to be happy!!!

Mum has been doing sansho with me yesterday and today for the new place :DI told her, it worked!! Mum’s daimoku worked faster!! :p

Dad just came and watched me chant and said, I look as if I’m posessed and like a pandit. I smirked and told the gohonzon, this same man has to chant sincere honest daimoku by dec!! 😀 poor man doesn’t know my plan!!

And the sister is so kind and lovely and happy and smiley! I’ve NEVER seen such sister!

The nurse said she needs ppl like me to come and work with them! She must have seen my compassion side!!

Been so happy and offf my ffeet tht I can’t focus!!!! Cos I’m too happy and naturally aDD!!

Desperately want to share this victory in eloquent way with heart and words in rhythm. Help! Gohonzon!

Lovged my day!!! I’m making it better every day!!

Write thing at the right time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good fortune is following me in every fuckin step!!!

V I have to tell u, good fortune is following me in every step, I’m doin so well! I’ve made my day today very wonderfu! Chose to fight all my doubts with daimoku and have won!! So grateful to so many things and people and u are definately one of them!! So lovely having u even if u decide to go!!:'(

Ths morning really felt like same old doubt same old cycle of hapy-say-hapy-sad but I broke the cycle now its hapy-hapy-hapy

They have told me to come back after my 1yr experience :)))))))) so greatful!!!!

Exp.

The place I parked is double bay and was wondering whether my car is trapped but right at the time of going home, it is NOT trapped, every other car is!! But not mine! And I was like :o! Its happening again! Good fortune with me everywhere!!!!!

2 ppl have said they find my exp as a proof. Just my life being so joyful and turning it every second a proof.

They said come back to work if u want!!! And this is what I always prayed for. To be wanted in my job! Or someone to say tht to me!

Yep have to lead every single person to happiness and enlightenment, that’s our mission I strongly feel now 🙂

Gave 3£ for raffle ticket, wish me luck!

Want to advance in my career ofcourse! And be where my heart desires. But also want to create maximum value. I’m thinking cns is probably what ill like.

Really feel like I’m a ball of sunshine and evryone I meet and everywhere I go I seem to light up those ppl and places with my heart and spirit!!!!!!!

This is what shud be normal and everyday routine. 🙂 no need to settle for unhappy self at all.

I think I met 3 ppl who could had ruined the day for me and 5 oppurtunities where I could have crumbled and gone very upset but I turned it around. Chanted in my heart for the same things like gohonzon!! Even if she thinks I’m skiving and even if she thinks I’m not interested in those things and is getting too picky/thinks I’m a little madam, I demand to be happy regardless. I want to be happy and want to break through this situation and be very happy. And I won! Did had a victoriousss day!!

It is very much possible to be happy and enjoy our high lifestate even while in midst of painful drama!! We deserve it we must demand it! We mmust enjoy beauty gain and value no doubt!!!!

Keyword of the day!

– issey miyake floral
– light brown hair 🙂

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