struggle

Struggling to chant.
Struggling to understand him.
Just struggling generally.

But atleast we talking.

Frustrated. I can’t figure out at what time he does what. And what to do. Or what do I want. Or what’s the best thing to want. I feel like a ball of anger.

What abt my wish to be happy?! What abt being. Cheerful?!

Can’t even give some time to talk. But why shud he be blamed. I do the same?! But. If both does the same then wtf?!!!

I feel like I must be the one to sacrifice, this that like sati savitri. But I don’t want to + want to.

Argh!!!!!!

Why’s everything so muddled up.

My mood and inner world is geting swayed so easily. Its. Frustrating. No wonder why ppl can’t figure out who the real me and shit is. Nor can I!?? What a deep karma urgh need to change.

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