self realisations

In a coach in nightlights šŸ™‚
Means lots of time to think and realise and just self reflect.
After a while romance and stuff doesn’t matter. So what does?
Why do I feel sad suddenly?

I think I’m such a free spirited bird and want to be rebellious.. Do my thing.. Give baal to the world?! So how will a relationship fit into that? I do want one. But how will it work? Will anyone put up with it? Is there anyone who will be ccompatible? Or will someone always want to change me?
Will anyone even want to be with me?

Gohonzon.. I feel gutted. I’ve lose him. …shed the tear first time after breaking up. But then I can’t be with him either. Why does all my relations end like this? I can’t be without him but can’t be with him either?

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