Then it means I don’t trust the gohonzon. Cos even if he chants what if he’s violent etc, and neg karma spurts out etc and I get int rouble. Cos at the end of the day its ur faith that’ll save u. No matter how hard nichiren prays for u he can’t save u until u believe in the gz. Why do I have such a hahrd time trusting gz.
I want to come out stronger and become stronger thruout the journey starting now.
He’s like totally trying to change me and stuff. And suggests I do this and that. But the rebl side of me is like wtf? U kidin me? Why must I listen to u? If this caries on ill lose myself. Become devoted and he’ll take me for granted. And leave me when I have completely become his type – quiet and unable to speak for herself then he’ll go fr the vibrant ones. Insecurity? Darn u karma!